Haven’t posted in a while. I’m too lost in summer to remember to do things. It’s at once pleasant and nightmarish. I’m so very afraid of it ending because when it does I may realize I acomplised nothing with these four months or wasted them some how and then I will be forced to return to Tallahassee where life will be wonderful and yet all to fast with no room for extra stress. But oh there is always extra stress.
maybe it will help if I write out here what I meaant to do.
But alas I think what I feel I’m missing is what I dreamed of not what I planned for.
I planned to register to vote, make money, see an old friend, write a story, get a driver’s license. But I dreamed of green days out side, of laughs and constant friends and going places. I have instead made myself a house wife in constant pusuit of consumption of media. Lots and lots of books. With TV and movies and music sprinkled in. In a way I am fulfilling what I meawnt to do. I meant to relax and I meant to read. but this is excesive. Maybe I should try to not read for a week.
Been craving carmel coffee and a glazed donut for about a week but I’m too broke even for that. Lucky my mom has carmel syrup in the house and I got to fulfill the first half of my craving.
I did not discover the joys of sci fi until I whimsically read Ender’s Game and my boyfriend dared me to try Halo last summer. Now an ex-fantasy feind I can’t get enough.
When you’re feeling down, it’s so tempting to focus on your sadness: you wonder why you’re sad, you hate that you’re sad, you wish you weren’t sad. It’s completely natural to do this. But it’s the wrong way to be. No matter how smart you are— you will never change a bad mood by thinking about it. You will only magnify it.
Instead focus on your behavior. Focus on what you can change. Go outside. Exercise. Quit isolating yourself. Interact with friends and family. Accomplish things. Your mind will reward you with happiness.
It is so tough to change your behavior if you are feeling depressed. But it’s the only way. Don’t say: “I’ll act differently when I feel better.”
Act differently, and you will feel better.
I reblog this for two reasons. Humans of New York is amazing and this is so very true and relevent to my life. I have know so many people who battle depression and I have dealt with it myself. It’s very hard to take this advice when you’re unhappy but it truely does help and faster than you would think.
Plagued with hiccups the past two days.
Nathan and I took a walk today. He was happy from the moment I saw him and despite the fact that we were walking through suburbia Florida it was incredibly refreshing.
I started working at the library again yesterday.